FWDFine so they had the third pres debate but afterwards there was the “spinroom” circle of commentators including the required couple of pubbies spinning for Trump, and, if you avoided the temptation to just mute those two out to avoid cognitive dissonance, you learned a lot, like for example, there are two million (“TWO MILLION…) dead voters on the voting registers that might allow busses-full of democrats to be used (DEAD VOTERS ON BUSSES…) to stuff the ballot at various polls (TO THROW ELECTION TO HILLARY’).

It was simply not clear whether the pubbie commentators actually kept a straight face throughout as they tried hard to inject doubt into the poll-booth process (which most felt was un-American and a travesty, but whatever, let’s move on), but the fascinating this is just how this might play out at the polls. There are several scenarios.

1

Scenario 1: Dead Voters

Election Day.

Pollworker Jane: Harold.

Pollworker Harold: Jane.

Pollworker Jane: Do you have any more of that coffee?

Pollworker Harold: Sure. (pours coffee for Jane, gives it to Jane)

Pollworker Jane: Thanks

Pollworker Harold: Welcome

Pollworker Jane: So.

Pollworker Harold: So what?

Pollworker Jane: Well, I’m wondering where all those dead voters are.

Pollworker Harold: Jane, they’re dead

Pollworker Jane: I know Harold, but still.

Pollworker Harold: Yeah. Pretty quiet.

===

2

Scenario 2a: Walking Dead Voters

Election Day.

Bus Driver: Okay, everyone on the Bus – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scenario 2b: Walking Dead Voters

Election Day.

Bus Driver (wearing armor): Okay, everyone on the Bus (walking dead aimlessly mill around the bus)

Scenario 2c: Walking Dead Voters

Election Day.

Bus Driver (wearing armor, with temporary living character tied to backseat of the bus): Okay, everyone on the Bus (walking dead file onto bus and eat temporary character – driver drives to polling station, walking dead file off and into polling station)

Pollworker Jane: Cripes, Harold, look, it’s Halloween

Pollworker Harold: No, those are real zombies, look out!

(Sound of  a motorcycle outside the polling place, sound stops, a crossbow quarrel enters through the door and impales the back of one zombie’s head, and both Daryl Dixon and Michonne step into the polling place)

===

3

Scenario 3a

Fairfield, Iowa Polling station, 2 pm

Pollworker Jane: Hello, may I help you?

Dead Voter: Yes, I’d like to vote for Hillary

Pollworker Jane: Okay, can I have your name please?

Dead Voter: Yes, it’s Jimmy Hoffa….

Pollworker Jane: Sorry he’s dead

Pollworker Harold: And buried. Somewhere.

Scenario 3b

Fairfield, Iowa Polling station, 2:15 pm

Pollworker Jane: Hello, may I help you?

Dead Voter: Yes, I’d like to vote for Hillary

Pollworker Jane: Okay, can I have your name please?

Dead Voter: Yes, it’s Jimi Hendrix.

Pollworker Jane: Sorry he’s dead.

Pollworker Harold: But not as dead as disco.

 

Scenario 3c

Fairfield, Iowa Polling station, 2:15 pm

Pollworker Jane: Hello, may I help you?

Dead Voter: Yes, I’d like to vote for Hillary

Pollworker Jane: Okay, can I have your name please?

Dead Voter: Yes, it’s Jimmy Carter

Pollworker Jane: OMG he’s not even dead yet!

Pollworker Harold: That’s just mean

===

In any case it was simply not clear how the dead voters thing was going to work.

 

 

 

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